Why a workout buddy helps, and how to find a good one

It’s 6:45 on a dark November morning. It’s drizzling. Your bed is warm. If you were going alone, the run would be a very quick “maybe tomorrow”. But someone is waiting for you at the corner, so you go.

That, in one scene, is why training partners work. Here’s what the research says, and how to find one.

Does working out with a partner really help?

Mostly, yes. Three findings stand out.

You try harder next to someone a bit better

The Köhler effect describes how people put in more effort when they work with a slightly more capable partner and their own effort matters to the pair. In one study (Feltz, Kerr and Irwin, 2011), people held exercise poses longer when they trained alongside a slightly better virtual partner than when they trained alone.

You keep going for longer

In another experiment (Irwin and colleagues, 2012), people cycled on an exercise bike in six separate sessions. Those who rode with a virtual partner kept going significantly longer than those who rode alone, and the effect held up across the sessions, not just on day one.

You’re more likely to stick with it

In a weight-loss programme (Wing and Jeffery, 1999), people who joined with friends and were trained to support each other were far more likely to finish: 95% did. Ten months later, about two thirds had kept all the weight off, compared with about a quarter of people who had joined alone without the extra support.

The lab studies used virtual partners on a screen, so a real person on a real cold morning might be an even stronger pull. Or a stronger excuse to get coffee instead. Choose wisely.

Why it works

• You’ve made a promise. Skipping a session means letting someone down, not just yourself.
• It’s more fun. Time passes faster when you’re chatting, and enjoyment is what keeps people exercising in the long run.
• Healthy comparison. A partner a step ahead shows you what’s possible. (Miles ahead tends to backfire, which is why “slightly fitter” is the sweet spot.)
• Someone notices progress. It’s nice when another person remembers your first 5 km.

5 things to look for in a training partner

1. The same rhythm

The most important thing. If you want to train at 7:00 on weekdays and they prefer Sunday afternoons, it won’t last, however nice they are. Agree on days and times before anything else.

2. A similar level, or a little ahead

Close enough that you can train together, a little ahead so you’re pulled along. For runners: someone whose easy pace is about the same as yours or slightly faster.

3. A goal of their own

They don’t need to train for the same race, but they should have something they’re working towards. Two people with goals hold each other up. One person with a goal ends up dragging the other.

4. Lives or works nearby

Every extra kilometre between you is an excuse waiting to happen. A meeting point within ten or fifteen minutes for both of you makes a huge difference.

5. Reliable, and honest when they can’t make it

Life happens, and cancelling is fine. Cancelling at 6:40 for a 7:00 run, every week, is not. Agree up front how much notice you give each other.

Where to find a workout buddy

• Running clubs and park runs. Weekly, free or cheap, and full of people at every pace.
• Your gym or climbing hall. Look for people you keep seeing at the same time, and say hi.
• Friends and colleagues. Great if your rhythms match. Ask with a trial period: “Want to run together on Tuesdays for the next four weeks?”
• A partner, paired by hand. At Pactful, a real human pairs you with someone who has a similar goal and schedule, ideally close by. We’re starting in Hamburg, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, The Hague and Utrecht.

Once you’ve found someone, agree how you’ll check in, especially on the days you train apart. Our weekly check-in formats give you a few simple options.

Ready to stop running alone? Join the waitlist, and tell us about your goal.